Once a year in the fall, the world's most advanced witches gather for a special high-speed coven. They swap their usual brooms for high-tech transportation "borrowed" from unsuspecting humans. Let's take a look at the tools the forces of darkness use for their competitions.
Po-2 "Night Witch"
The unassuming Po-2 training aircraft won the admiration of the women in striking conical hats. Its military nickname, "Night Witch", was in vain sorceresses' spirit (if they have one). This version of the ordinary Soviet bomber, enchanted by the most terrifying spells, came to seriously outperform the original in every respect.
The plane turns out to be a joy to fly. It flies on a wing and a prayer (technically two wings), and its speed is a pleasant surprise. With its camouflage paint job and pair of glowing pumpkins on its wings, it’s easy to spot. The pumpkins give the machine a special charm—after all, what girl, even a warty one, doesn’t love glamour?
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Faster than the devil | Bigger than a broom—can't hide it behind a door |
| Two floors—plenty of room for friends and their hats | Too noisy, would scare all the cows and peasants |
| The rattle can scare all the crows and bats | Requires a virgin to fix |
| Beautiful glowing lights ^^ |
M18 Hellcat
Evil witches flying enchanted Po-2 "Night Witch" aircraft carried out a massive raid on a warehouse storing American vehicles. In an unequal battle against drowsy guards, they stole a dozen or so M18 tank destroyers. The newly acquired tanks got some otherworldly modifications.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Runs like a madwoman | Imps got drunk on toadstool wine |
| And it jumps! | Hexed armor does not protect from fender-benders |
| Imps are replaceable | Guns could still prove useful |
No one knows for sure what kind of terrifying sorcery the practitioners of dark magic performed on those poor vehicles. However, it is known that as a result of these schemes, the M18's engine power more than doubled, and its top speed increased significantly—something no self-respecting hellcat could do without.
Since witches aren’t particularly fond of manual labor, specially trained imps were invited to serve as the crew. However, once they took their places at the controls, there wasn’t enough room in the already cramped vehicle for all of them. The problem was solved in an original way: a hex that warped the space inside the self-propelled vehicles was cast (making it spacious inside). That, however, made the armor useless.
After losing their armor (was there any to begin with?), many imps expressed justified concerns about their safety, so the witches generously doused the weapons—which they considered useless (and which had undoubtedly also been magically modified)—with foul water, thereby silencing them for the time being. They failed to keep track of the crafty imps, who, under the cover of all the frantic preparations, snatched the heavy machine guns from the Hellcats—a development the little devils were, however, only too happy about. At the suggestion of a few trendy little witches, the vehicles were repainted a brighter (and stylish!!!) shade of yellow and decorated to match the theme.
Finally, all the preliminary preparations were completed. The timid little imps, who had been clamoring that the self-propelled vehicles had come to life and were giving them evil looks with their "green eyes", were sent away. The witches uncorked their spirits, settled into their comfortable seats, and prepared to celebrate yet another annual coven gathering on Halloween by using special incantations to start the cursed engines.
The lights go out...
